I hear it all the time.
Whether it’s a friend who is struggling to lose weight or someone I overhear talking in line for coffee, there’s always a hint of desperation in his or her voice:
“I know什么to do to lose weight, I just need todoit. I need to get more motivated.”
这个陈述有真相。如果您能找到正确的动力来源，那么您会为自己所能完成的事情感到震惊。
But if you’re even thinking this way in the first place, you probably already know how important it is to eat well and stay active. Youaremotivated.
实际上，您甚至可能有足够的动力与私人教练签约，或者支付营养学家来大修饮食。
So why is it still so hard to follow through on these commitments?
通常，问题不是您的动力水平，而是一种适得其反的心态，会破坏它。
When you think of building motivation, you probably think about rewards and punishments. Carrots and sticks. And when it comes to health, you might think that too many carrots (or carrot cake?) is exactly your problem.
因此，合理的结论是您需要更多的纪律。这就是为什么您倾向于付钱给您在训练营中折磨您的原因。如果您不能强迫自己的屁股在寒冷中出去，并在凌晨6点跑步体育场，也许Meathead Mike可以使您成为您。
Ironically though, no one is as hard on you for your shortcomings as you are on yourself. When you hit snooze one too many times and miss your training appointment or come home late from work and heat up a frozen burrito for dinner, you’re the harshest judge. Mike will still get paid, after all.
As motivated as you are, events like these can be crushing. You blame yourself for the slip up. You question your motivation. You wonder if you have what it takes to be a healthy person, or if you’re doomed to kill yourself with your own bad habits. Maybe it’s in your genes to be lazy, and being healthy is impossible for you. Ugh.
What could be more demotivating?
A common misconception is that people who are able to create healthy habits have a tremendous amount of discipline. They are able to wake up early and go to the gym no matter how dark and cold it is outside. They are capable of torturing themselves indefinitely, and that trait somehow makes them better people.
This is a myth.
Psychology researchhasshownthat people who are able to create healthy habits don’t have more discipline, they have more self-compassion.
他们没有每次都不是完美的，而是询问事情可能会有所不同。这使他们摆脱了“我是懒惰的失败者”模式，进入了解决问题的模式。
Instead of thinking, “I should have just dragged my tired butt out of bed and forced myself to go to the gym,” they think, “I was really tired today and it caused me to oversleep. I should try to get to bed earlier next time. Is that realistic?”
They don’t see the situation as a problem with themselves, they see it as a puzzle to be figured out. I call this a problem solving mindset.
解决问题的心态是强大的,因为它takes emotions out of the equation and forces you to address the reality of the situation. Rather than judging yourself for being “lazy”––a very judgmental assessment––problem solving acknowledges that you were tired and asks, “Why?”
Maybe you didn’t get enough sleep or have too many demands on you at work. What can you do so that you can feel well-rested when you wake up in the morning?
您通过承认过度安全的结果是疲倦的结果，而当您没有足够的宁静睡眠时，疲倦是正常的。过度呼吸不会使您懒惰，这意味着您需要弄清楚如何给自己燃料和休息，需要运作最佳。
您必须照顾好自己，而不是在压力下表现更严厉，并在压力下表现较差，以便您的表现更好。
There’s no value in beating yourself up. If your best friend or child were struggling with a similar situation, would you just assume they’re hopeless and give up on them? Of course not. You would be kind, listen to their concerns, do your best to point out the positives and steer them toward the answer.
You must treat yourself with the same dignity. Not only do you deserve it, but it’s also actually the only way to solve your problem.
当他们想完成的事情时，最健康的人会练习自我同情，这并不是他们希望的方式。这为他们提供了精神上的清晰度和情感距离，以采用解决问题的思维方式，并在下次采取正确的措施。
